Honesty, best policy.

I seriously don’t get it sorry, this fucking new age bullshit that people have going on in relation to “relationships”, “hook-ups”, “one night stands”, whatever, I just don’t fucking get it.

Yeah I go out in my short dress that shows off my “assets” but that sure as fuck does not give you the right to think that you can go balls deep, forgive me, you know what fuck that, fuck you, you want to fuck me, take a number and stand the fuck in line but heads up you’re going to be there a while ’cause that’s not the way it works with me, sorry.

You want to get to know me, hats off, bets off, cards on the table, no bullshit, I’m seriously not dealing with fuckwits anymore. I am worth more than petty fucking games that seem to be the norm now sorry.

If you can’t man up and be gentlemanly about this sort of shit, save your breath and allow me to save face, I am seriously done. I know I have written on this subject before but it just fucks me off that men and I am sure that there are women as well that just fuck people over time and time again, it is a mind fuck, why can’t people just be fucking honest and lay their shit straight down the line rather than making up bullshit along the way?! It is what it is, you want a one night stand, great for you! At least have the dignity to acknowledge that is what you want. DON’T lead people on, DON’T lead people astray, DON’T play fucking games, this is life, people get hurt and people who hurt people intentionally don’t deserve sweet fuck.

The amount of times that I have been fucked over in my life because of men I actually wonder why the fuck I think anything is actually going to change. I mean sure there are nice guys out there but pretty sure they ain’t going to be talking to me because the good boys get all intimidated and the bad boys get all hot, so I lose either way!

So men, fuck you in non literally terms this bitch is out of the game completely.

Drunk words are sober thoughts.

So apparently Drunk words are sober thoughts.

One: This is actually true, ie I’m totally fucked.

Two: This is not the truth, ie I’m totally fucked.

Maybe it can be a mixture of both?

Now I am not saying this from my end, basically, you know how it is when I’m sober so it sure as hell isn’t going to change when I’m drunk. I’m not one to sugar coat anything and I’m certainly not going to be leading anyone anywhere.

So if number one is the truth, what is the need to suppress yourself so much that you can’t say what’s on your mind, or what you feel, or what you want? I am at a loss to understand, especially at this point of time in my life. If you don’t have the guts to say something when you’re sober I sure as fuck don’t want to hear anything out of that mouth when you’re drunk. It causes too much confusion!

Now say number two is the truth, is everything that is said a straight out lie? Or is it actually the truth, no we know it is a lie. You can feel it, in your bones, down into your sole, that you shouldn’t be that silly little girl anymore. That everything you have worked so hard to become to be thrown away at a whim because of drunken words…

To be happy, that is my only wish. I find this extremely hard at this moment. Mostly because of myself, my inability to see my true worth, to know that I am actually worth more than that, that I deserve everything that I want out of life. That I have a right to be respected, to be cherished, loved. Maybe it is not ok anymore… Maybe this isn’t ok anymore.

I am not going to be anyone’s monkey on a string. I have worked hard to be independent as fuck and I am not going to give that up, even if I don’t truly know my self worth.

I’m probably always going to be a little bit stupid when it comes to men and their sweet nothings. But maybe that’s what it is, sweet fuck all, NOTHING!

Or maybe it is everything and I am over analysing. Or maybe it’s not…

Free as fuck and confused to the shit house xo.